


You'll Be In The Drift

by handschuhmaus



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace
Genre: Alternate Universe - Pacific Rim Fusion, First chapter contains grieving, Gen, Originally Posted on Tumblr, POV Second Person, Stream of Consciousness, The Drift (Pacific Rim), may contain my increasing inexplicable comparisons of a Sith duo to our favorite K-Scientists
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-11-14
Updated: 2014-11-14
Packaged: 2018-02-25 09:51:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 538
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2617475
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/handschuhmaus/pseuds/handschuhmaus
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>An assortment of ficlets inspired by a tumblr post about Jedi in jaegers.</p>
            </blockquote>





	You'll Be In The Drift

**Author's Note:**

> This first chapter originally posted on my main tumblr blog [here](http://rugessnome.tumblr.com/post/102630651968/then-i-had-some-more-thoughts-about-jedi-jaegers).

-you prepared for one of you to die before the other, when ages were so uneven, but you'd been so lucky, so skillful, that neither of you had ever suspected that your Padawan would die before you and--in the Drift, in the Force--but, it isn't the same and you wish you'd had the opportunity one last time to greet him and of course you wouldn't have (because you wouldn't know) but you wish so terribly that you could have _one_ more of those foolhardily affectionate hugs that you pretended you never liked at all and that he had given up on giving to you because you _had_ grown apart. Certainly there wasn't the prospect of piloting together again. And to think at your last parting, he thought you were the less defiant--! --To be angry pains your bitter guarded heart less than to earnestly weep over one more unjust sorrow, and so you flirt with the dark side even now not quite consciously. Of course you have known death before, but he is-- _was_ the forbidden attachment, the closest inkling you have to a son...

* * *

-you'd always known that your Master would probably die before you one day, and you'd hoped that it wouldn't be, firstly, any time soon, and secondly, while the both of you were Drifting together, because you didn't think you would be of any use piloting a jaeger if you lost him in the Drift (they said it was hard for the most unattached Jedi, and you aren't. You're just a Padawan, and really you _were_ attached, to your shame). And--it wasn't in the Drift, but you  _aren't ready_ for him to be gone! You aren't ready to take your trials, at least--not... emotionally. And at that thought you recite a line the Jedi creed in your head:  _There is no emotion, there is peace._ But it doesn't help in the least. You might have the knowledge ( _There is no ignorance--)_ but you thought he'd _be there_. You never suspected that Qui-Gon Jinn was going to die in battle against a, a  _Sith._ Sith were--had been extinct! Usually your foes were not so dangerous, especially with a lightsaber, your own weapon. And yet you berate yourself mentally (but never let it show on your face) for not anticipating that, and for not saving him,  _and_ for being angry (and  _heartbroken,_ if you are completely honest with yourself) about it. (You won't be able to sort out your emotions just yet. He'd said once, and not repeated it--it wasn't a Jedi sentiment, that _time begins to heal all wounds, even ones of the spirit_. Which you had poked holes in at the time, but the wisdom in it seems applicable to your situation.) You promised him, as he died, that you'd train the boy, but Anakin Skywalker hasn't drifted. Doesn't know what it's like to feel like a piece of  _yourself_ has been ripped away, and you feel raw and incomplete as if it was your legs, unsteady and trembling now, you'd lost and not your teacher. And you're going to have to open yourself to him at one point, in the joining of minds that is the Drift...


End file.
